This is the story of a guy and a part of his career. After hearing a talk by an up-and-coming freelancer about a “series of successful failures,” he comes to terms with the fact that his freelancing phase was less than successful. Freelancing is a state of mind, it just wasn’t right for said guy.
Freelance isn’t fun like cupcakes and farts. It’s fun like the Ironman.
That’s one of many phrases that I took to heart at tonight’s Refresh Seattle. Matt Brown from the aptly named, thingsthatarebrown, had a lot of great things to say tonight. Actually, I wondered to myself if those tips would have been useful after I had entered the world of freelancing. But you can only spend so much time wondering and only so much time thinking what could have been. I exchanged a few words with Matt Anderson after the talk.
I could see the gleam in his eyes, he wants to do this. He has the tenacity and the talent to make this work. I’d be very interested to see what he has to say in 14 months. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be different than what I had to say after my first 14.
We all enter freelance with around the same goals. But being a freelancer shows you who you really are. I don’t think you can say you’re right for freelancing until it has held nothing back. Then you have the people that have survived, the Keith Robinsons of the world—and the people who haven’t—people like me.
Just like how I joke that it took Facebook and Automattic to get me freelancing, it took freelancing to get where I am today. Obviously I have to take the hard way around every time until I’m slowly phased out of the internet for constantly missing the boat.
But seriously, just because one is good at something, doesn’t mean that they’re going to be good at selling it to others. I could make great Avalonstars, but I could never quite translate it to bring greatness to anything that I didn’t have a vested interest in. I didn’t have the basic discipline or the required patience to be a freelancer. Things that Matt was learning at 4 months in, I couldn’t learn. Or, maybe I was too stubborn to learn them. I wanted too much control. I didn’t want to be questioned. If a client couldn’t keep my interest, I could completely lose my motivation. The way I evolved my process over time was to look for projects that would allow me to bypass all of that.
That worked, for a time. But we all know the story. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wasn’t made for this. That’s been my experience.
Obviously, freelancing is not for everybody and I’ve gained so much respect for people like Matt who have the strength, determination and perseverance to keep going. Just by looking at him speak tonight, I know he’ll do well. I can say without a doubt that people with the same attributes will do just as well if not better. But you either know this for a fact up front, or you find out after you try.
I did the latter and say that as I’m looking back at the door I’m about to close and look forward at the one I’m about to open. I failed at being a freelancer from the beginning because I jumped in blindly. I failed being a freelancer at the end because I didn’t have the will to go on. I couldn’t finish the Ironman.
In our world, we need those great examples and we need examples of what and what not to be. Well, I’ll happily take the place of the latter. I’m really beginning to subscribe to the fact that everything happens for a reason. It was great while it lasted and if I had another chance, I wouldn’t do it any differently.
Good luck to Matt and all the freelancers out there. You’re all so much stronger than I could have ever been.
It’s obvious that your words came straight from the heart Bryan. I applaud your willingness to be an example of what not to be. I think those who are willing to share their mistakes are invaluable resources, because they save willing listeners from a lot of trouble.
Still, I wonder what you’ll do now. Go back to the corporate world? How will your free spirit deal with the relatively restricted environment?
Hey Bryan!
I can only applaud the willingness to share your pain. It’s a hard step, as is quitting something you like after realizing you aren’t made for the job. I know what it’s like.
Best of luck, in whatever path you take from now. Keep us posted, will you?
~Chris
I commend you for taking the time to share this. It’s not easy to admit that you are wrong or to admit defeat. Freelancing is hard — it’s certainly harder than I expected. I’m looking forward to hearing about the next phase in your career.
Best of luck with whatever you move onto next.
Event planning, maybe? (Bowling ftw?)
You didn’t fail. You figured out a way of working that doesn’t work for you right now.
Failing would have been looking at the opportunity and not doing it because it might not be successful. I’ve got lots of that experience so trust me on this one.
Bryan you got a lot farther than most individuals do when jumping into the Freelance field. However it pans out you can always say you tried, and who knows maybe it’s still in the cards for you.
“I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.” - Lucas, Empire Records
Thanks a lot for the great and kind words on my presentation. Honestly, I don’t think there’s any shame in deciding that freelancing isn’t a good fit for you. I’m still not convinced it will work for me either — but I’m going to keep working at it, and try to learn as much as I can while I’m doing it.
I’m really excited to see what’s up next for you. I’ve thought for a long time you’re one of the best, most consistent designers on the web — you’ll do great work wherever you go.
Failure is a strong word, but without it, I wouldn’t have taken this as seriously as I had. I believe I had to use the word for my sake and it fit quite well last night since it was the title of Matt’s presentation. I’ve realized that I’m not cut out for a lot of places on the vast web, this is just one of them and I’ve been working to find a place that just feels right for me. I guess it’s all part of this “quarter-life crisis” I’m having. ;)
Even though I’m at this point, don’t think I’m here without a plan. :D
@Matt — Keep that spirit strong. We need people like you and Snook to share not only their successes, but their failures. You did say in your presentation that we as a community love to hone in on the EPIC FAILS, but we don’t get enough people willing to share those hard experiences with others.
Bryan:
I’ve been in your shoes before. Last March, I left a company I’ve worked for for three years to begin pursuing a freelance career. I figured that with the steady influx of projects I’ve been working on, I should be ok.
When I realized a month into freelancing that much of the work is spent maintaining the business, writing proposals to potential clients, and traveling to client sites to meet, I realized that there is much work in freelancing after all. It’s not that I could not do it - I can - and perhaps because this is the aspiring marathon runner in me. It’s just that I wasn’t ready for it.
Luckily, the company I am currently working for for hired me after two interviews - and I could never be happier. Will I pursue freelance again? Most likely… but not now.
Anyway, now that I bored you with my story (hehe), I want to say that it’s a very brave decision to admit failure and find your niche (or what works for you). I know what it’s like - being a quarter century-er myself (3 years ago, haha!) and I’m STILL finding what works! You are doing fantastically in your career, and I am almost certain that whatever you try next, you will succeed. :) Keep chipping at it - you will figure it out!
@Katie — Thank you, I appreciate the story and the words of encouragement.
I’m beginning to feel that the rest of my life will consist of trial and error when it comes to where I want to go. This next path I’m going to take, if it lasts longer than my last, I’ll consider it a success, in itself it’ll be the closest I’ve been to fulfilling a dream yet. :)
BRYAN.
SUP SON???????? OMG!! I had this totally weird.. WEIRD WEIRDDDDDD.. nostalgic feeling and I was like, wow, I totally miss designing and art in general and I’m like.. omg, I just have to get in contact with some of the people I used to know wayyyyyy back when and omg. I thought of you!
Your site looks great! UGH.. I am just so out of touch with design and.. ahhhhhhh…………. so out of touch! I’m planning on going to an art school next year, hopefully if things work out.. how are you and jen??? OMG! We have so much to talk about .. hit me up on myspace if you have one ORRRRRR….. email me or something! =D
xoxo
hmmm… want a job?
@Gaile — Hahaha. Good to see you again! I never know where the hell you are these days anyway. We miss you damnit! For reasons related to my humanity, I don’t have a MySpace, but I’ll definitely email you so we can catch up. :D
@Brad — I think I’m good for the time being. :)
I hope i will not fail in my freelancing career.. hehe :D
Bryan! I love your logos! I am in need of a logo for my spiritual creativity project. Are you up for it?
So far I hate freelancing because I don’t focus on designing, I have to focus on selling, and selling, and selling, and more selling. Proposals, e-mails, follow-ups, spec-work, etc. Actually designing something seems like the easiest thing in the world now.
Good design does NOT speak for itself.
At least you made it 14 months! I’ve only been doing this for 2 months now and already am beyond sick of spending my time marketing myself.
haha i agree, freelancing are not for me either. Need more discipline and focus to be freelancer, two things that i lack of…