My Rules for IMs

For years I've kept my screen name in the open as I've been willing to help people when they were in need of some attentionadvice. But years of instant messaging can take a toll as such, I've developed a few pet peeves. So to warn you before you incur the wrath of: o_O, here are a few "rules" to keep in mind. Granted, rules are meant to be broken and I find myself breaking some myself at times. But calling them guidelines just doesn't do them enough justice.

• Never, ever, start a conversation with a link. People have been eaten for violating this rule multiple times (in one day or even intentionally! D:). If you're going to message me with a link, I encourage you to at least start some kind of conversation. When you start said conversation, at least try to be nice instead of looking at it as some sort of formality. Believe me, I know when you're doing it just to do it. Learn before you get eaten.
• o_O or any variation herein (o_O, O_O, O_o, o_o) is considered a valid message. What is it you ask? Besides being my favorite emoticon, it can also mean a whole gamut of things ranging from "WTF?" to "Huh?" to "Oh no she didn't." to "Hell if you were going to do that you'd be seriously screwed." Relating to that latter example, o_O really saves you from typing all of that. I'm known to use that particular one frequently, but others you may encounter are signs of happiness (^_^), elation (^O^), sadness (T_T), winkage (^_~) or indifference (-_-).
• Never feel bad about asking me a question or "taking up/wasting my time," I waste enough time as it is believe it or not. I always have time to help out, but remember to obey the aforementioned rules.
• Accept the fact that I speak in complete sentences and even follow "LOL" with a period. I've already been told enough times that I'm the only person they know that does that. if u'd rathr hAvE meh speek like dis, den jus ask.
• I try to make friends online. So if you're going to bombard me with questions, then spread them out a bit. I mean, I'm always up for a quick run-down, but it can get tiring after awhile. Be courteous and avoid getting eaten.
• Don't scare me. If you're IMing me for the first time, please try to introduce yourself. If you've changed your handle or own one that's sort of hard to remember (e.g. xXFiReKitTENofDEathneSSXx), re-introduce yourself.
• If you suddenly reformat your hard drive and completely forget who "synicide" is asking me "whoz dis?" won't help you remember.
• When I'm actually online, I try to set an away message, sometimes I won't remember to. So the fact that I may not answer may actually mean that I'm not there. It's not cool to come back to AIM to see that somebody messaged you with "hello? are you der?" about 50 times. If I don't answer, leave me a message and I'll get back to you at the sound of the beep. Wait.
• Finally, I really don't hate you. No matter how much you think I do, I really don't hate you. If you want me to hate you I will, otherwise I'll tell you if you're stepping out-of-bounds.

And there you have it, a little Chicken Soup for the Instant Messenger's Soul. Keep these rules in mind and we'll have a fun conversation. Disregard them and you'll probably end in the next bowl of chicken noodle I happen to have.